If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
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