my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
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