I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
