We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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