I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
