I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
