He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
