weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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