So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
My pussy is not your playground.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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