Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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