Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Randomize
