i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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