How'd it feel making her break her religion?
She just used a chaser for red wine.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
