whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
