$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Randomize
