All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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