Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
