i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Randomize
