I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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