please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Randomize
