Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Randomize
