My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Randomize
