Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
