it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
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