K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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