OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Randomize
