I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Randomize