I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
