Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
