can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize
