Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
