she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I just want nice things and good sex
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Randomize
