Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Randomize
