Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
