hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize
