Texts From Last Night

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  (303): View more from Colorado

  I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit

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  (303): I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit http://tfl.nu/ynrr
  Replies (3) Good night (767) Bad night (1008)
• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.

  (734): View more from Michigan

  Have a good day. My vagina shrank.

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  (734): Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember. (734): Have a good day. My vagina shrank. http://tfl.nu/3o44
  Replies (7) Good night (645) Bad night (1774)
• Favorite

  (979): View more from Texas

  i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.

  (903): View more from Texas

  wow. i have no words.

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  (979): i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door. (903): wow. i have no words. http://tfl.nu/bjsv
  Replies (29) Good night (5802) Bad night (1006)
• Favorite

  (210): View more from Texas

  she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?

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  (210): she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know? http://tfl.nu/j2zq
  Replies (50) Good night (6973) Bad night (789)
• Favorite

  (530): View more from California

  My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.

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  (530): My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower. http://tfl.nu/udbm
  Replies (16) Good night (654) Bad night (5601)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this

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  (610): Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this http://tfl.nu/fwmk
  Replies (29) Good night (17342) Bad night (1257)
• Favorite

  (559): View more from California

  I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.

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  (559): I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing. http://tfl.nu/i8zl
  Replies (6) Good night (5402) Bad night (1591)
• Favorite

  (618): View more from Illinois

  No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.

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  (618): No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense. http://tfl.nu/myox
  Replies (3) Good night (2793) Bad night (769)
• Favorite

  (520): View more from Arizona

  He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.

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  (520): He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time. http://tfl.nu/4xv6
  Replies (7) Good night (1841) Bad night (1343)
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs

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  (615): You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs http://tfl.nu/j07e
  Replies (1) Good night (1427) Bad night (489)
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.

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  (304): It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town. http://tfl.nu/067f
  Replies (14) Good night (640) Bad night (910)
• Favorite

  (806): View more from Texas

  Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.

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  (806): Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times. http://tfl.nu/evhw
  Replies (9) Good night (961) Bad night (351)
• Favorite

  (574): View more from Indiana

  i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.

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  (574): i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand. http://tfl.nu/cuvt
  Replies (5) Good night (459) Bad night (348)
• Favorite

  (302): View more from Delaware

  apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.

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  (302): apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask. http://tfl.nu/f2ag
  Replies (3) Good night (829) Bad night (196)
• Favorite

  (760): View more from California

  Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?

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  (760): Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection? http://tfl.nu/93gn
  Replies (5) Good night (342) Bad night (483)

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