Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (918): It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk. http://tfl.nu/5huo
  Replies (4) Good night (916) Bad night (641)
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (518): I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw. http://tfl.nu/ptpv
  Replies (36) Good night (1385) Bad night (1504)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (203): I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now. http://tfl.nu/m857
  Replies (12) Good night (4484) Bad night (777)
• Favorite

  (661): View more from California

  Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (661): Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std" http://tfl.nu/vth3
  Replies (29) Good night (3114) Bad night (1246)
• Favorite

  (254): View more from Texas

  oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (254): oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all. http://tfl.nu/jllt
  Replies (26) Good night (785) Bad night (3667)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (404): Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis http://tfl.nu/8wlo
  Replies (8) Good night (4178) Bad night (688)
• Favorite

  (415): View more from California

  apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (415): apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window http://tfl.nu/1uz3
  Replies (9) Good night (3847) Bad night (957)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (617): All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you. http://tfl.nu/zb33
  Replies (3) Good night (767) Bad night (1886)
• Favorite

  (865): View more from Tennessee

  If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (865): If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan. http://tfl.nu/8pg6
  Replies (4) Good night (926) Bad night (578)
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (541): Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground. http://tfl.nu/5mkq
  Replies (1) Good night (823) Bad night (455)
• Favorite

  (785): View more from Kansas

  We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (785): We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen. http://tfl.nu/aun6
  Replies (1) Good night (923) Bad night (316)
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (917): hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now. http://tfl.nu/iew9
  Replies (1) Good night (1263) Bad night (290)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (617): she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon. http://tfl.nu/r3ld
  Replies (13) Good night (307) Bad night (1329)
• Favorite

  (269): View more from Michigan

  When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (269): When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him. http://tfl.nu/ihig
  Replies (5) Good night (266) Bad night (769)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Are you still free tonight?

  (1-508): View more from Massachusetts

  Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (508): Are you still free tonight? (1-508): Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid http://tfl.nu/yjum
  Replies (2) Good night (1004) Bad night (286)

Randomize