Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
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good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
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like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.