come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
These 19 Men’s Fashion Mistakes are Unforgivable, According to Women
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
25 Cringeworthy Below the Pants Injuries
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.