Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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