I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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