i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
