when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
