All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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