My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
