No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
