he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.