yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.