I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
23 People Have Step Parents That Are Younger Than Them
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..