Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys