So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
