haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
