Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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