also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Randomize
