Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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