Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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