did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
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we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
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I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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