got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
