That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
honey bunches of taint.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Randomize
