how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
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